Ninja? No way!
by Zeelee-Vallen
Summary: A young girl gets transferred into the Naruto universe! The worst part? She's never heard of Naruto, or seen it before. Completely clueless, will she end up dead or alive? Better yet, will she find a place in this world of Shinobi? Romance. OcxItachi eventually. Perhaps a little someone else?
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: I'm sorry. I really am. I had too. I've hardly done any stories in the Naruto verse, so here it is. Even better. It's with the 'main' caste, whereas most of mine are based around the Akastuki and Hinata.

Here is my big question!

Do you think Shinobi and Konoichi have counselors?

We do not own Naruto.

XxXxXXX

Why her? Why was it always her?

She tried to live a normal life. She really did. But no matter where she was, or where she went, something happened. Perhaps because of this she became rather accustomed to handling bad situations, like that one time a man tried to lure her in his van with candy. She was six. You know what she did? She threw powdered candy in his eyes, and ran. You know what happened? She found out he was actually a good guy who gave out candy as a charity.

She was kicked out of that foster home rather quickly. Time and time again she was moved. She was currently thirteen, and in her twentieth foster home in the last five years. It was supposed to be against the law to move a child so much in Canada, but it happened. No one ever wanted to adopt her, because she was an accident on four, opps, two feet. Four because she happened to fall a lot. Either way, she was rather inclined to hurt herself. She probably had scars that rivaled a war survivor.

Perhaps she was fickle, and a little uncaring most days, but to fall into a frozen lake? Her foster parents thought they would take her ice fishing. She refused many times. Water was bad. Ice was bad. She damn near choked to death on a snow flake once too, so snow was bad as well.

All three together? It was a death sentence. It turned out to be quite literal too.

They said the side was two feet thick. Too thick to break under them. That is if you don't step on a newly frozen fishing hole.

Which she did.

Now she was slowly dying, and all she could think was 'I knew it.'

Then something odd happened. A bright light started shining. She looked down to see it was coming from her necklace. It was the only thing her parents left her, other than a picture, was the shined black piece of clear rock. One of her foster parents said it was some type of molten glass, but she always felt it was different. She seen molten class before, but it wasn't like her rock.

So why was it shining now? She stared at it, as the shimmering started to engulf her body.

Then she was warm.

The scenery was completely different. The air was humid and steaming hot, nothing like the Canadian summers she was use too. It was much worst, like the desert. Anything more and the water on her thick winter cloths would evaporate into the air.

She looked up. Trees taller than buildings toward over her. Slight sunlight filtered through the green leaves, lighting up the forest around her. She looked side to side, noticing the many thick shrubs and smaller trees. Underneath her was decaying leaves and moss. The place looked untouched if it wasn't for the fact the trees around her had deep scars in their bark. Little black items stuck out of the wood along with long pin like needles.

Where the hell was she?

She shivered. She looked down to her fingers, noticing how they looked like; they were pruned and white as the snow. Frostbite.

Her shivers were probably perma-shivers. It was normal to get them after being in the cold for so long. Leaves slowly floated down, making her look up. Blobs shot past, landing from branch to branch. She blinked. Birds?

No. Birds flew.

Monkeys?

Perhaps. This place did look rather tropical. Specifically to a Canadian like her.

A man dropped down in front of her. He wore clothing she never seen before. Albeit, it looked rather goofy. It was tight black clothing than clung to his body, with odd black armor covering most of his vitals. He wore a bright green jacket and worst of all, he had a mask on. Not just any mask, the type that murderers wore, with half their face covered. The white hair didn't bother her, she seen more weird things. Another shiver racked her body.

Two more people dropped down from the trees. She looked up, then to them, then up again. Any human who dropped so far would be dead. A shiver racked her body, but she ignored it. She also ignored the fact her skin felt like it was on fire. A little gift from the frostbite.

Were they super human?

A lady eyed her skeptically. She blinked, surprised. The woman wore an outfit similar to the mans. Her hair was long black and wavy, and her eyes a most unusual red. She blinked, then looked to the other person, only to die.

Or rather, she wished she died.

Now hipsters liked some odd things; like those pants that sagged down to your knees and looked like they had poop in them, but the man in front of her was the fashion nightmare that would haunt her. She didn't even like fashion! He wore bright green clothing that clung to EVERY inch of his body. Even that area, yes. Not that she meant to look there! It kind of just happened. Then there was the obnoxiously bright orange arm and leg warmers that looked like they came straight from the 80's. Worst yet? His hair! A bowl cut. A literal bowl cut. He had a nice smile though. Yes, it was redeeming enough. It was like one of those obviously edited white strip commercials that showed their ridiculously nice teeth.

Unsure of what to do, she did what she did best. She smiled. "Hi." She said, attempting to raise her arm only to wince. Being under the ice probably gave her frostbite on a large proportion of her body. If you've never had frostbite before, there was different levels to it. The first degree is when your skin turns red, and it burns like a bi…. A female dog. Then second degree is when your skin turns white. Third degree is loss of circulation. It was either third or second.

"Young child of youth!" She flinched, the green man yelled at her, tackling her. It hurt. So bad. So very very bad. It felt like her skin was being burned, and his body was weighted fire.

Second degree.

At least she wouldn't lose any limbs.

"Are you okay, youthful child!?" The man was yelling in her ear. Why was he yelling in her ear? She attempted to push him away, but only to get something sharp held against her neck.

"Which country are you from?" It was mask-murderer that spoke first, his voice slightly aloof, but his eyes hard. Another odd thing, he had a red eye. She blinked and stared at him.

Green-man was pouting behind mask-murderer now. Beauty was the one with the sharp object to her neck.

"Canada." A slight confused look entered his eyes, making her sigh. She thought everybody knew of Canada. Sure people thought they lived in igloos and drank beer all the time, but they were well known. Unlike some smaller countries she forgot the name of. Like… Point proven. She shivered again. Her cloths were still wet and clinging to her. Perhaps that wasn't good for the frostbite.

"What country are you from?" She lifted up her hand and wiggled her fingers. They were white and pruned. They also hurt like a bitch. Wait. Female dog. The man's confusion grew. He didn't show it on his face, but she knew. Although she was a clutz, she would like to think she was able to read people. Most of the time. There was that time she thought she was having a romantic moment and kissed her friend, but that ended up horrible. Turned out he only wanted candy from her.

"Canada. That's why I have frostbite." Instantly Beauty gripped her hand, the blade still to her neck. She couldn't help but feel the strong pain shoot through her.

"Frostbite… It's true. And there is no sign there was a snow jitsu used in the area."

Now as you already know, she was accident prone. That meant life was a danger. Now, with a knife being held to her neck, she was trying her best to be good.

But she got hit in the back of the head. With a bird.

A bird! It hit her, pushing her into the blade.

She felt warm trickle down her throat, then the pain followed.

Shit.

"YOUTHFUL CHILD!" The blood continued to poor. Beauty tried to stop it by placing her hand on it, her eyes wide. She fell back onto Beauty's lap, staring up to her. The bird flapped on the ground next to her, trying to gain flight again.

Why was it always her?

XxXXxxxXXx

"We can't take her back to the leaf. It's much too dangerous. It's best we leave her." It was mask-murderer's voice.

"She's a child. She obviously has no idea where she came from. Perhaps she's lost." Beauty was the next one to speak. She was groggy. To groggy to move or open her eyes, so instead she listened.

"Don't let your woman insti-"

"Are you saying I'm not fit to be a konoichi, Kakashi?" Her voice was slightly intimidating, but expertly controlled.

"No!" Masked-murderer sounded intimidated.

She rolled over. None of her business. She went back to sleep.

XxxXxXXxxx

She was drifting out of sleep again. Only to find people talking again.

"I vote we take her. Perhaps she is a citizen of leaf. The people here say she is not from around here. Even the traveling merchants don't recognize her, and they like to keep their eyes on people." Beauty was talking quietly.

"YOUTH-" Obviously green-man.

"Shhhh!" Masked-murderer was the one to silence green-man.

"It's obvious she isn't a ninja, despite her scars. Her muscles show no indication of training what-so-ever. Even academy children have better muscles than her." Ouch, that remark from Beauty hurt. Wait. Ninja?

The hell? She shifted, and tried to open her eyes. But they were glued shut with eye gunk. She rubbed them, grumbling at it. They stopped talking now, leaving the room with a suspenseful feeling. Finally she was able to look at them, but she stared at her fingers first. They were slightly pink with the blood flowing through them freely. She pressed her nails, checking for the circulation. Her finger turned white for a second, then the pink returned. The next important thing was her necklace. It was where it was supposed to be, nestled in-between her breasts.

She was healed and ready to roll.

She looked to them, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Masked-murderer and Beauty watched her, eyes blank. Green-man was another story. The moment she looked at him and their eyes connected, he started crying tears of joy. Of course, he had his TV perfect smile on.

"Youthful child! You have finally awoken to the beautiful world!" She stared at him, blinking. His smile was contagious, because not long after she found her lips tilting upwards. It was nice to see such an energetic person. The last person to be so happy to see her was the little foster girl in her last home, and that was because she always gave her candy. Yes, Candy. Everybody loved her for her candy. At least it wasn't for her milkshakes, they tasted horrible.

This man wasn't expecting candy. At least she hoped not.

"It's two against one. I vote we bring her. Worst comes to worst, she is a traveler that managed to get herself in bad situation." It was Beauty that spoke. Masked-murderer sighed, his eyes uncaring. She stared at him slightly contradicted. He looked relaxed visually, but he was clearly on guard. His posture was slightly too stiff, although it was the embodiment of lazy. She smiled at him, trying to unnerve him. He smiled back, although it was strained.

Then it clicked. Take her where? Where was she? It defiantly wasn't Canada. "Do I get a say?" The three looked at her, almost as if she spoke foreign words. She huffed, puffing out her chest. "I have no idea where I am, or how I got here. Then suddenly three people start voting on leaving me or going to some strange place I've never heard of." She swung her legs over the bed, to find she was in some strange hospital gown. She looked around. She was in a hospital room. Oh. That explained why she got well so fast.

She paused. She looked at her gown, then around the room, then to her gown again.

She had no cloths. "Where… Is my clothes?" She asked, her voice getting a slight edge to it. Heat pooled in her body, making her feel light. She had an important picture in the pocket of her jacket. A picture that she cherished. It was a picture of her parents. Or who she assumed her parents were. It was found with her, along with a note. The note said 'One day… We will meet again my dearest child. Right now you need to be here. Forgive us. We love you.' She never really believed the note, after all they did abandon her. She wasn't brave enough to get rid of the picture though.

"It was too wet, so we threw it out." Masked-murderer sighed, his eyes trailing to the door like he wanted to be anywhere else but there. Oh, she was going to make him feel that way. She launched herself at him, her body moving faster than expected as she made contact with him. He flailed to try keep his balance, but she was an expert at tackling. She did play some sports after all. She also had practice from tackling her foster siblings, they were the ones that tried to steal her stuff after all! There was no way she was letting them get away with her hard earned jewelry.

Instantly she was flipped over, him on top of her. His grip was hard on her arms, making her glower. He had her in an expert hold, there was no way to flip him.

"I had something important in that jacket, something that I need." Masked-murderer stared at her, really stared, it kind of make her loose her edge. She could tell he was a very calculating person, and he was probably upset at the fact she did something unexpected.

"Right! Youthful child!" She looked over to see the man pull out the picture from his…. Its best they never spoke of this again, but he had a pouch somewhere he shouldn't have. She didn't care that it came from there, because she instantly tried to struggle for it. Where was that you asked? The 80's arm warmers. You didn't think the other place, did you? Pervert. Masked-murderer refused to let her go, making her huff.

"I need to know you're not a threat. You just showed slight chakra control right there." She blinked at his words. Chakra? The hell was that? The man seemed to realize her confusion, because his gaze softened slightly. He let her go, and she lunged for the photo.

Soon as she had it in her hands, she smiled gently at it. The room seemed to relax with her. Beauty was the one to break the silence.

"May I ask your name?"

She looked over to Beauty, her eyes lighting up. She loved her name, although it was overused. "Suki!" Beauty's eyes lit up with amusement, her lips tilting up slightly. She smiled at her. Beauty looked even more like a beauty when she smiled.

"That's a very nice name. My name is Kurenai. This is Gai," She motioned toward green-man. Honestly, the name kind of fit him. Gai. Guy. Gai. 'Oi, Gaiiiiiii~" She giggled. "And that's Kakashi." She motioned toward Masked-murderer. She smiled at him, her Fonzo idea still in her head. He smiled back, again it was strained. "We hail from a place called the hidden leaf, have you heard of it?" She shook her head. It sounded like a weird name. You can't hide anything under a leaf! Then again, the trees around here were pretty big. "I see…" There was slight conflict in her eyes. "You're in the land of fire, do you know where that is?" She stared at Kurenai blankly. These were some pretty messed up names. Suddenly Kurenai's eyes widened. "Do you know the land of Rock?" She shook her head.

"The land of Waterfall?" Gai piped in. She shook her head again.

"The land of Stone?" Kurenai's face was getting slightly more perplexed as Suki shook her head again. "Peculiar…" She rubbed her eyes, the strain clear on her face. Suki tilted her head, looking around. Gai looked rather befuzzled, and Kakashi showed slight confusion.

Wasn't she the one confused? Seriously, what type of names were they spouting off to her? "I'm confused." She looked between them. Perhaps she was in a weird part of the world whose names she never heard of. "Where is Canada?" They stared at her.

"No such country exists." Kakashi explained, watching her. She blinked.

Oh.

What?

XxXXxxXxxxXX

Zeelee-Vallen: You best like it O: It's my first Naruto based story other than The Akatsuki's maid, but that story is… Different. Anyway, we hope you like it! Please tell us what you think :D I'm not use to these characters either… Did I portray them decently? Kakashi is gonna be the fidgety one for a bit, but relax sooner or later. Maybe.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH.


	2. Chapter 2

Sabie0521: GO CANADA! TAKE OVER THE WORL- *cough- cough* Wait, we're supposed to be peaceful people… Ha xD Thank you for reading and reviewing Sabie~

DontMessWithUndertaker: Thank you! I always love your reviews! This one has proven to be difficult xD Their interactions are… Well. Goofy.

Persona Girls: Thank you! I hope the story continues to be enjoyable~

SasukeXhinataXOC: Here's that other chapter *wink* Hope you like!

AkatsukiKittenLover: An update for you~ Hope you like it!

AN: We are freaks. Get use to it.

We do not own Naruto.

XxxxXxxXx

"So you say you are not from this world?" Kurenai's nose scrunched up, her red eyes skeptical.

Suki crossed her arms, her cheeks puffing up. "I'll say it again, I'm from Canada!" Kakashi was sitting in the corner, watching them carefully.

Then there was Gai. "I BELIEVE YOU CHILD OF YOUTH!" He pounded on the bottom of her bed, tears streaming out of his eyes. "SUCH A SAD FATE!" He looked up to her, making her flinch. "We will take care of you!" She blinked as Kurenai placed tight black clothing on her lap. Oh hell no, she was not wearing such- The lady smiled gently at her, as if encouraging her. Well. Hell. Now she had to put them on.

"Kurenai, when we get back to the village I believe we should visit Yamanaka-san to validate Suki-san's information." Kurenai's face darkened, but she nodded.

Who was that? By the way Kurenai's face darkened, he must have been her ex-lover or something.

She huffed. She was in some big trouble. Gently her fingers reached up and prodded her neck. It hurt. A lot. A little while ago the pain killers wore off, letting her know she really had to be more careful. It wasn't her fault the bird hit her! Stupid bird was stupider then the time she tried to eat raw fish, thinking it would be like sushi. She was sick for a week after.

Sure, she thought it was some drug that was making her see this, but it was reality. She tackled Kakashi earlier, later she found out it reopened the wound in her neck. She thought nothing of it, that was until the pain started.

It was real. In drugs and dreams, there is no such thing as pain.

Pain was part of life, it was what kept the dreams fake.

But this was no dream. She sighed.

She always managed to get herself in such horrible situations. But she would do what she does best. She would handle it, endure it, and conquer it. She didn't have a place here, so she would have to make one.

Until she could return.

"I'll come with you…" She looked to them, her eyes serious. "I have one request." Gai was first to yell yes, Kurenai nodded after. Kakashi didn't say anything, but she knew he was listening.

XxXxXxXXx

They were ninja. GOD DAMN NINJA.

LITTERAL JUMP TWENTY FEET INTO A TREE NINJA. Kurenai and Kakashi were now up there, staring at them. As if bored, Kakashi brought out a book. Her eyes narrowed at him. They pretended it was nothing, like jumping twenty damn feet was an easy task.

She stared at the trunk. Worth a try, she decided as she ran at the tree. Maybe she would be able to at least-

SMACK.

"YOUTHFUL CHILD! It is impossible for anyone but Shinobi to jump so high!" He attempted to tackle her, but she quickly scooted out of the way. Gai smacked into the tree head first, his face flattening. She stared at him as blood trickled down the trunk.

She shrugged. He was sturdy, he would be fine.

Goal; climb the tree.

She clung to it, her arms and legs wrapped around it. It was such a huge tree! She climbed many trees before, but nothing so big. She tried to shimmy up it. She made it up a good four feet, her eyes were on Kakashi, who was still nose first in his book.

She would make it.

BAM!

Then she fell, her butt hitting the ground.

"Youthful child!" Gai popped up, making her squeak. Blood dripped down his face from his forehead and nose, but it didn't seem to faze him. "I will carry you to our destination, child of youthfulness!" She stared at him. Did she say yes? Say no?

Yes. She would say yes, as long as she got into that damned tree, "As long as you let me bind your forehead." She didn't want to get bloody because of him. Suddenly tears began running down his face, his eyes sparkling.

Oh god. What did she get herself in to?

XxXXxxxxx

They were going faster than any vehicle she was ever in. And she was in some fast cars.

This wind wiped around her hair, making her giggle. It was an amazing feeling, better than anything she ever felt before. And she had syrup sticks before. This bested that by twenty! She would HAVE to get someone to teach her this trick. Then she'd go jumping tree to tree like them!

Yeah, no. It was all a lie. She was scared of heights. The whole time she clung to Gai's back begging Kami to keep her from falling.

Being as accident prone as her, anything above five feet could prove fatal.

XxXxXxx

Before she knew it, they were there. Where was there?

Two big ass friggin gates! They were even taller than the trees and circled alllllll the way around. By the looks of it there was only one entrance, which was where they were heading.

I guess this was a good time to mention she was now on the horrible Kakashi's back. Gai pleaded to carry her, but Kakashi insisted he carry her to the Yamkaka guy. The other two were to report to the Hokage, she assumed he was some type of ruler.

"You do know your request is not going to be considered until you are deemed harmless, right?" She huffed, pouting as Kakashi jumped from house to house. To be honest, she was actually beginning to enjoy jumping around like this. Imagine how much gas money it would save? Seriously, he could start a business. _Ninja jumping express._ See? She already had a name made!

"The only danger I am is to the birds, jumping around like this is really danger-" Now being subjected to her luck, Kakashi got a bird into the face. He yelped, dropping her onto the slippery tiles of the house they were on. She screamed and tried to clutch to the tiles, but she slid down rapidly.

Now she was going to have butt slivers. And possibly die by falling.

At least she would get to say she got to use the Ninja Jumping Express before she died.

Fssss~ Now she was falling. Death by falling. Hopefully she didn't take out anyone below her.

A black block shot down from a house, making her yelp. Strong arms wrapped around her, making her squeak. The blob person hit the side of a house a jumped up towards the roof. Danm it! Why do ninja always go up? She was obviously falling! You don't take a falling person back where they fell from!

She looked to the person, only to blink. The person was wearing a weird mask. Ninja Cosplay? Must be.

The mask man landed by Kakashi, who was bleeding from his cheek.

A light chuckle came from the mask person.

"To be taken out by a bird…" The person's voice made her blink. He sounded like a boy around her age. Was he a ninja? They had ninja that young?

Good god. This was a messed up place.

Gently the boy put her down, making sure she wasn't going to fall to her death again. Well, at least he was nice. Unlike Kakashi. Kakashi probably wished she fell and died.

Jerk.

"Thank you very much." She curtsied, being polite as possible. Kakashi sneered, making her shoot a glare at him.

Defiantly a jerk.

"It was nothing. Our Jonin should be much more capable." She blinked. Jonin? The hell was that? She shrugged it off, not wanting to seem stupid in front of him.

"I must be taking the girl now, Thank you for your assistance." Kakashi scooped her up, making her yelp. Damn, she needed to work on that.

And off they went, no more pleasantries exchanged.

XxxxxXxx

Zeelee-Vallen: Wow… So many people reading it already O: I hope I live up to your standards! Thank you for reading! Wanna know what her request was? You'll find out next chapter :D Possibly.

Any guessed as to who the Anbu is? Mwahaha.


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